Need
by shimmerinstars
Summary: Feeling unable to move past his actions and behavior as a demon, Dean's frustration ends up hurting Sam.


**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

**AN:** Thanks to Jedisapphire for the beta

**Summary: ** Feeling unable to move past his actions and behavior as a demon, Dean's frustration ends up hurting Sam.

**o0o**

"Sam?" Dean entered his brother's room surprised to not find him there.

"Sammy!" Dean moved down the hallway towards the Library. "Where are you?" he called out scanning over the large room quickly only to be met by silence.

"Come on Sam. I wasn't being serious when I said that," Dean checked in the kitchen with no luck.

"You really going to make me keep searching?" Dean yelled exiting the storage room. "I'm sorry okay? I wasn't thinking."

"I really wasn't," Dean whispered , imagining how he'd feel if Sam had said that to him. And worse said it multiple times this week.

"Sam!" Dean shouted. "Sammy!" Dean hollered louder pulling out the section of shelves that hid the dungeon. But finding no sign of his little brother.

Dean didn't believe his brother left the bunker with how quickly he'd followed Sam into his room after their disagreement. With both sets of car keys accounted for Dean knew the impala was still sitting outside and he seriously doubted Sam went for a walk in the wind and pouring rain they encountered bringing in their beer and groceries earlier.

o0o

But before searching any further Dean went with a hunch and took a look outside. It was still windy and raining but there in the middle of the storm was Sam sitting in a lawn chair holding a big umbrella over his head.

Dean stepped back inside and returned with a chair of his own and placed it beside his brother. "Mind if I join you?"

"Suit yourself." Sam said keeping his gaze straight ahead.

"I think I will," Dean sat, pulling the hood of his jacket over his head.

"Sam, why are you sitting out here in the pouring rain?"

"I like the rain. Its calming."

"It's also wet."

"That's just how you look at it Dean."

"Maybe I need to broaden my view-point like my brother. Who I hurt and didn't mean to."

"So you no longer feel me killing you as a demon would have been a smarter move than curing you?"

"I never did Sammy. It's just the mark and dealing with it and it's not even that.

"Then what is it Dean?"

"It's what I became and the things I did. The company I kept and who I hurt. Sometimes it's so overwhelming I just don't know how I can ever move past this."

"You can get past this Dean." Sam assured him.

"I know I can. It's just sometimes I lose sight of that. Guess I just need to keep reminding myself of what makes me believe its possible."

"And whats that?" Sam looked at him curiously.

"You Sammy. Every time I look at you and think about all you did for me."

"Dean..."

"Your belief in me, never giving up on my becoming human again. It makes me feel like I can get back to doing some good in this world. That I'm worth something."

"You're worth everything to me Dean. So when you say things like the smarter thing would have been to kill you."

"I'm an idiot."

"Pretty much Dean and you what to know why?"

"Why?"

"Because you've done so much good for this world Dean and you have so much more to offer. You'll get through this. Correction, we'll get through this."

"See you have me believing that one day I will put this behind me Sammy."

"Good. Because I don't want to ever hear you say that the world and I would be better off without you. Not ever Dean."

"You won't," he promised.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you calm enough because I'm sure as hell wet enough."

"Come on," Sam stood and folded up his chair. "Let's go inside."

o0o

Dean grabbed a couple of towels from the closet. Throwing one over his shoulder he took the other and towel dried Sam's hair with it.

"Dean," Sam squawked grabbing the towel from him. " I'm not 5 years old."

"Nice look," Dean stepped back amused at his brother's wild hair.

"Shut up," Sam threw the towel at him. Not able to hide the smile while doing so.

"Hey you hungry?" Dean asked.

"Starving."

"How does Cheeseburgers and fries sound?"

'Sounds good," Sam answered heading for his room to get into some dry clothes.

"Hey, you want to help?" Dean called after him.

Sam stopped and turned to look at his brother, "Help make dinner?"

"Yeah."

"Sure," Sam's eyes lit up at the invitation.

"Okay." Dean smiled not missing that. Feeling at that moment life couldn't be better.


End file.
